I am not expecting any miracles. ... [W]hat I want for my father is the best possible combination of dignity, lucidity, and absence of pain. The operative word is possible, because what is attainable is limited. Moreover, there are trade-offs among these goals.
... For [this] larger goal of trying to do the best with his remaining life, nobody is in charge and nobody is empowered.
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Maybe you could hire a doctor or good nurse, from outside of the hospital, to be as a sort of patient trustee/manager, and have that doctor make all large decisions and decide on trade-offs, focusing on the patient's desires.
A specialist helper as it were. Because I don' think it's a good idea to ask patients, directly, what they think about getting test X or Y.